Mental Instability Putin Denies Involvement in Political Opponent’s Death, Cites “Rare Condition Where People Fall 70 Feet Out of Windows” , and TornWires Editors
Postponed Name Change to Department of War Postponed Due to Government Shutdown , and TornWires Editors
Business CEO Says Company’s Benefits Package Includes Dental, Vision, and Not Starving to Death , and TornWires Editors
Elon Musk Elon Musk to Start Defense Contracting Company to Steal More Money from Americans , and TornWires Editors
Donald Trump Trump Says Stranded Astronauts are Pure Evil After Finding Out they Voted for Harris , and TornWires Editors
Surveillance NSA Releases Statement Urging Americans to “Stop Picking Your Nose While Using Your Computer” , and TornWires Editors
Democracy Dies in Darkness Washington Post Opinion Section to Only Post Articles About Jeff Bezos' Washboard Abs , and TornWires Editors
End of the World Doomsday Cult Disappointed Yet Again as World Fails to End for Fifth Consecutive Prophecy , and TornWires Editors
Creepy Sam Altman Says his Company’s Eye Scanning Orb is “Definitely” Not Part of a Plan to Plot World Domination , and TornWires Editors
Satire Local Man Achieves Peak Health by Following Every Morning Show Health Tip , and TornWires Editors
