Mental Instability Putin Denies Involvement in Political Opponent’s Death, Cites “Rare Condition Where People Fall 70 Feet Out of Windows” , and TornWires Editors
Left Behind White House Has Contingency Plan in Case the Rapture Happens and Trump Gets Left Behind , and TornWires Editors
Smart Glasses Press Conference on Meta’s Smart Glasses Derails as Zuckerberg Faces Tough Questions About Molting Season , and TornWires Editors
Business CEO Says Company’s Benefits Package Includes Dental, Vision, and Not Starving to Death , and TornWires Editors
Jaywalking Trump Nationalizes D.C. Police to Protect City From Jaywalking Epidemic , and TornWires Editors
The Economy Local Man Bravely Fights Inflation by Not Paying His Friends Back , and TornWires Editors
Parenting Parents Tell Four-Year-Old She's Not Special, Just 'Adequate Enough to Pay Rent Someday' , and TornWires Editors
Trade War Economists Warn Tariffs May Increase Prices, Trump Says: “Just Stop Buying Stuff” , and TornWires Editors
Trump Administration Trump Administration Withdraws Nomination for CDC Director After it's Revealed that Nominee is an Expert , and TornWires Editors
The Reptillian Elite Mark Zuckerberg Unable to Attend Trump Inauguration Due to Reptilian Meeting Being Held the Same Day , and TornWires Editors
Whistleblowers OpenAI Whistleblower Coincidentally Drops Dead in Courtroom, Seconds Before He is Set to Testify , and TornWires Editors
Creepy Sam Altman Says his Company’s Eye Scanning Orb is “Definitely” Not Part of a Plan to Plot World Domination , and TornWires Editors
Satire Trump Says School Shootings Could be Avoided if School Crossing Guards Get Machine Guns , and TornWires Editors
