The Pope Pope Warns ‘Future of Humanity at Stake,’ Aides Admit He Also Says This When Cell Phone Reception Gets Spotty , and TornWires Editors
Black Widows Russian Soldiers Complain That Wives Show More Enthusiasm for Death Benefits Than Marriage Itself , and TornWires Editors
politics JD Vance Defends 30 Year-olds’ Racist Group Texts: ‘Hey, We All Passed Notes About Swastikas in Fourth Grade’ , and TornWires Editors
What is a Christian Trump Admits He Does Not Know Definition of the Word ‘Christian’ , and TornWires Editors
Postponed Name Change to Department of War Postponed Due to Government Shutdown , and TornWires Editors
Defense is for Losers Trump Renames Pentagon ‘Department of War,’ Says Defense Is for Losers , and TornWires Editors
Business CEO Says Company’s Benefits Package Includes Dental, Vision, and Not Starving to Death , and TornWires Editors
Jaywalking Trump Nationalizes D.C. Police to Protect City From Jaywalking Epidemic , and TornWires Editors
Apocalypse Evangelical Pastor "Ecstatic" About Prospect of Israel-Iran War, Says "End Times Will Finally Happen" , and TornWires Editors
International Russia and Ukraine Agree to Swap Prisoners in Hopes of Building Trust Before Breaking It Again Tomorrow , and TornWires Editors
The Fake News Media Trump Deports CNN Reporter to El Salvadorian Prison for Asking Tough Question at Press Conference , and TornWires Editors
Elon Musk Elon Musk to Start Defense Contracting Company to Steal More Money from Americans , and TornWires Editors
Parenting Parents Tell Four-Year-Old She's Not Special, Just 'Adequate Enough to Pay Rent Someday' , and TornWires Editors
Trade War Economists Warn Tariffs May Increase Prices, Trump Says: “Just Stop Buying Stuff” , and TornWires Editors
Donald Trump Trump Says Stranded Astronauts are Pure Evil After Finding Out they Voted for Harris , and TornWires Editors
