WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senior Pentagon officials are reportedly scrambling to contain a growing crisis after recent battlefield tests revealed that enemy drones can be destroyed without the use of gold-plated missiles that cost over a million dollars.
The shocking discovery has sent waves of panic through the defense establishment, where generations of military planners have operated under the assumption that every battlefield problem requires a solution that costs at least seven figures.
“We were devastated,” said one defense official who requested anonymity because he was not authorized to discuss cost-effective weapons systems. “For decades, we believed that the laws of warfare clearly stated that any object flying through the air must be intercepted by a missile worth several times more than the object itself. Now we’re hearing that bullets work too.”
The revelation emerged during recent anti-drone exercises, where military personnel successfully neutralized inexpensive unmanned aircraft using comparatively inexpensive ammunition.
Fearing that the discovery could lead to a reduction in the United States’ defense budget, military leaders have suggested that a five-year study must be conducted to see if gold-plated weapons are truly unnecessary.
