In a landmark display of civic engagement immediately rendered meaningless, officials confirmed Tuesday that a slim majority of Americans now believe the war in Iran has not been worth it, prompting the federal government to formally acknowledge the feedback before proceeding exactly as planned.
“First, we want to thank the American people for taking the time to have opinions,” said one senior administration official. “It’s this kind of participation that keeps our democracy feeling active. We want to let you know that we hear you, we see you, and we are committed to continuing the war with a renewed sense of awareness that you would prefer we didn’t.”
Analysts say the public’s growing dissatisfaction marks a significant shift from earlier stages of the conflict, when Americans were largely unsure what the war was about but assumed it might eventually become worthwhile if given enough time, money, and vague assurances.
At press time, officials confirmed they were exploring new ways to incorporate public opinion into the decision-making process, including reading it silently and then doing something else.
