Local Futuristic Neighborhood will Alert Paranoid Homeowners to ‘Every Rustling Noise’ and Give Detailed Reports On Neighbors’ Every Move , and Rich Crawford
The Economy Local Man Bravely Fights Inflation by Not Paying His Friends Back , and TornWires Editors
Parenting Parents Tell Four-Year-Old She's Not Special, Just 'Adequate Enough to Pay Rent Someday' , and TornWires Editors
End of the World Doomsday Cult Disappointed Yet Again as World Fails to End for Fifth Consecutive Prophecy , and TornWires Editors
Satire Local Man Achieves Peak Health by Following Every Morning Show Health Tip , and TornWires Editors
A Murder Small-Town Police Chief Happy That Someone In Town was Finally Murdered, Even if it was His Wife , and TornWires Editors
Local Local Man Finally Achieves Perfect Work-Life Balance by No Longer Going to Work , and TornWires Editors
Local Local Man Discovers Hidden Portal to Neighbor's Garage – Claims He's 'Just Borrowing Some Tools' , and TornWires Editors
Local Local Gym’s New Membership Plan Includes Daily Wake Up Call, Mild Threats , and TornWires Editors
