Trump Administration Trump Administration Withdraws Nomination for CDC Director After it's Revealed that Nominee is an Expert , and TornWires Editors
Surveillance NSA Releases Statement Urging Americans to “Stop Picking Your Nose While Using Your Computer” , and TornWires Editors
Capital Punishment It’s Time to Bring Back the Most Humane Form of Capital Punishment - Firing Squads , and TornWires Editors
Trump and Zelensky Trump Suggests Ukraine Conflict Could Be Resolved Over a ‘Nice Steak Dinner’ if Zelensky Pays Check , and TornWires Editors
Democracy Dies in Darkness Washington Post Opinion Section to Only Post Articles About Jeff Bezos' Washboard Abs , and TornWires Editors
Global Climate Change Maybe If We Just Ignore Climate Change, It Will Go Away Like My Ex Did , and TornWires Editors
War on Federal Employees Trump Orders Remote Working Federal Employees to be Abducted from Homes and Brought Back to Office , and TornWires Editors
Civil Rights After Trump Executive Order Department of Education Brings Back Segregation , and TornWires Editors
End of the World Doomsday Cult Disappointed Yet Again as World Fails to End for Fifth Consecutive Prophecy , and TornWires Editors
Elon Musk Elon Musk Unveils Hitler Statue in White House After Netanyahu Defends Him As “Great Friend of Israel” , and TornWires Editors
Government Elon Musk Realizes He Knows Nothing About Government Efficiency Midway Through Speech About Government Efficiency , and TornWires Editors
The Reptillian Elite Mark Zuckerberg Unable to Attend Trump Inauguration Due to Reptilian Meeting Being Held the Same Day , and TornWires Editors
Whistleblowers OpenAI Whistleblower Coincidentally Drops Dead in Courtroom, Seconds Before He is Set to Testify , and TornWires Editors
