Facebook

Zuckerberg Apologizes to Families of Children Harmed Online While Bragging About How Rich He Is

Torn Wires

Feb 1, 2024 — 1 min read

While getting questioned and yelled at by U.S. senators, Zuckerberg apologized for any harm children have experienced while using Meta's online platforms, Facebook and Instagram. Zuckerberg admitted that what children encounter on his online platforms has saddened him and would have caused him to have many sleepless nights if he was "not rich." In fact, during the senate testimony, Zuckerberg explained that the fact that he is filthy rich is what keeps him going. The out-of-touch millionaire went on saying, "I'm sorry for basically making a living off those kids, but I also want to thank those kids for making me so filthy rich." After Zuckerberg concluded his apology, members of congress continued to verbally abuse the CEO as a way to make themselves feel better about the terrible job they do governing the United States.

Mark Zuckerberg Claims He's Not a Reptillian then Proceeds to Sit Under Heat Lamp for Two Hours

Menlo Park, CA - In a recent press conference at Meta Headquarters, CEO Mark Zuckerberg vehemently denied ongoing internet rumors claiming he is a reptilian, only to spend the subsequent two hours basking under a heat lamp installed at the podium. "The idea that I'm part of

Elon Musk Says Upset Employees Fired from Tesla Should "Get Over It" Since We are Just Living in a Simulation

Austin, TX — Elon Musk, the billionaire entrepreneur known for his bold ventures into space and electric cars, made a controversial remark directed at former Tesla employees who were upset over their recent layoffs. In a post made on X (formerly known as Twitter) Musk told the former staff members to

Feminists Declare Women can be Terrorists Too

In an effort to break the glass ceiling even further, several feminist non-profit organizations have been bringing awareness to how women are rarely recruited into terrorist organizations and when they are they usually work in a less demanding capacity, as caregivers, or are simply given to men as wives. A

Boeing Preemptively Kills All Employees After Wing Detaches From Plane Mid-Flight

WASHINGTON, DC — In what's being described as a shocking overreaction, Boeing executives reportedly eliminated every employee after a wing detached from one of their planes mid-flight over Montgomery Village, MD on Wednesday. The incident, which miraculously resulted in no casualties aboard the flight, led to a drastic decision

Read more

Mark Zuckerberg Claims He's Not a Reptillian then Proceeds to Sit Under Heat Lamp for Two Hours

Elon Musk Says Upset Employees Fired from Tesla Should "Get Over It" Since We are Just Living in a Simulation

Feminists Declare Women can be Terrorists Too

Boeing Preemptively Kills All Employees After Wing Detaches From Plane Mid-Flight