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March 2025
23:
Trump Says Stranded Astronauts are Pure Evil After Finding Out they Voted for Harris
March 2025
15:
Trump Administration Withdraws Nomination for CDC Director After it's Revealed that Nominee is an Expert
March 2025
13:
Local Man Successfully Assembles IKEA Furniture Without Swearing Once
March 2025
11:
NSA Releases Statement Urging Americans to “Stop Picking Your Nose While Using Your Computer”
March 2025
9:
It’s Time to Bring Back the Most Humane Form of Capital Punishment - Firing Squads
March 2025
6:
Trump Suggests Ukraine Conflict Could Be Resolved Over a ‘Nice Steak Dinner’ if Zelensky Pays Check
February 2025
27:
Washington Post Opinion Section to Only Post Articles About Jeff Bezos' Washboard Abs
February 2025
24:
Maybe If We Just Ignore Climate Change, It Will Go Away Like My Ex Did
February 2025
20:
God to Trump: 'You're Making Me Look Bad Up Here'
February 2025
6:
Trump Orders Remote Working Federal Employees to be Abducted from Homes and Brought Back to Office
February 2025
3:
After Trump Executive Order Department of Education Brings Back Segregation
January 2025
29:
Doomsday Cult Disappointed Yet Again as World Fails to End for Fifth Consecutive Prophecy
January 2025
26:
FDA Approves First-Ever Prescription Strength Placebo
January 2025
24:
Elon Musk Unveils Hitler Statue in White House After Netanyahu Defends Him As “Great Friend of Israel”
January 2025
22:
Elon Musk Realizes He Knows Nothing About Government Efficiency Midway Through Speech About Government Efficiency
January 2025
20:
Mark Zuckerberg Unable to Attend Trump Inauguration Due to Reptilian Meeting Being Held the Same Day
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