Small Percentage of Voters that did not Vote for Putin Found Dead, Putin Claims He Only Killed All of Them

Small Percentage of Voters that did not Vote for Putin Found Dead, Putin Claims He Only Killed All of Them
President of Russia Vladimir Putin at the meeting with Magadan Region Governor Sergei Nosov (via videoconference)

MOSCOW - In an over the top display of political oppression, President of Russia, Vladimir Putin has had every single voter who did not vote for him in the recent election killed.

"Winning an election by less than 100% is unacceptable," exclaimed Putin at a press briefing.

Political analysts, particularly those in the West, since the political analysts in Russia have also been killed by Putin's henchman, have weighed in on Putin's display of violence, calling it cruel and unusual. However, the most notable commentary came from Donald Trump who in the process of saying that the incident was a terrible tragedy happened to call Putin a "fine young man."

Trump's comment was met with backlash, with many Americans calling for Trump to suspend his campaign after he complimented Putin, the megalomaniac that killed around 20% of the voters in Russia.