EX UK PM Liz Truss Bears her Breasts at Trump Rally

EX UK PM Liz Truss Bears her Breasts at Trump Rally
Kent Nishimura /Bloomberg

The UK’s shortest and most incompetent Prime Minister on record shocked a gathering of red necks at a Trump rally in Washington yesterday by lifting up her blouse and bearing her bare breasts. Whilst stood at the lectern ‘jiggling’ her lady blobs to the background tune of ‘Nellie the Elephant’, the disgraced British ex Prime Minister bellowed into the microphone, “These two busters are for Donnie boy, the next president of the United States!”

Truss went on to add, “These aren’t jello. No sired-bob! They’re the real thing, thick red meat, just like Donnie, and they don’t come thicker and redder than that bad boy.”

At this point four burly security guards bundled the shit-for-brains ex PM off the stage, covering her lady parts with two ‘Make America Great Again’ baseball caps.

“We were completely side swiped by Miss Truss’s surprising and, quite frankly, disgraceful antics,” said a spokesperson for Trump, “She was only booked as Nigel Farage’s arm candy, and wasn’t supposed to speak. To be absolutely honest, we just wanted someone on the stage who had proven herself to be even more stupid and incompetent than Donnie to help make him look a little more electable.”

The head of the UK security team responsible for Truss later apologised, saying, “It should never have happened. We screwed up. We took our eye off the ball. Normally we slip a couple of goof-balls into Liz’s Champagne before we let her out in front of the public, but we thought she’d behave herself as she was seven sheets to the wind on two full bottles of Napoleon Brandy before we pushed her on stage. When we get back to the UK this will probably cost me my job.”

The security team leader then admitted previous problems they had had with Truss in the recent past. These included bearing her ass at the opening of a Pizza Hut in Brighton, licking a window during an interview with Time magazine, and offering to give the veteran environment and nature broadcaster, Sir David Attenborough, a blow job on stage at the COP26 climate conference in Dubai. 

Referring to the Dubai incident, the security head said, “We think the oil lobby nobbled her. As you know, Liz crashed the UK economy which still hasn’t recovered. The woman’s a Jonah, a joke, a political pariah, and is virtually unemployable. So, for a few bucks she’ll do anything. There’s a rumour that Shell Oil bunged her $200 to try and embarrass Attenborough.

Head of the campaign to re-elect Joe Biden, Beppo (the sad faced clown) gave this interviewer a wry smile when asked to comment on the Truss flashing at the Trump rally, saying, “It’s exactly what American has come to expect from Trump, exhibitionism, bad taste, and crass behaviour. It wouldn’t surprise me if Trump hadn’t slipped her a few dollars himself to get her leathery old droopers out on stage. Let’s face it, that man will do anything to grab a headline.”