8 Things You Should Never Say in an Elevator

8 Things You Should Never Say in an Elevator
Photo by Edwin Chen / Unsplash

“I hope they fixed it this time.”

Say this while glancing nervously at the elevator buttons and watch your fellow riders immediately text their loved ones.

“Do you smell smoke?”

Absolutely guaranteed to quicken pulses. This is a great way to discover who skipped leg day when they sprint out at the next floor.

“Bet you can’t guess what I’ve got in my bag!”

This is especially thrilling if your bag is oddly shaped or ticking. Watch the suspicion in their eyes grow with each passing floor.

“Can you help me decode this ransom note?”

It’s quirky, it’s mysterious, it’s… likely to get you reported to security once you disembark.

“Mind if I hit all the buttons?”

While this might have been a beloved game as a kid, in adult world, it’s the fastest way to become the most disliked person in the elevator.

“You look just like my next ex-partner.”

Mixing flirting with pessimism isn’t the best icebreaker. Keep that one for the dating apps, perhaps?

“Ever wonder if you’re on candid camera right now?”

Paranoia, the gift that keeps on giving. Bonus points if you wink and point to an imaginary camera after saying this.

“Don’t worry, it’s been days since my last elevator accident.”

Implying that history might repeat itself is the perfect way to ensure a palpable tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

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