PALO ALTO — In a fiscal pratfall that has left Silicon Valley in fits of disbelief, Mark Zuckerberg, the brain behind Meta (formerly Facebook), announced his personal bankruptcy after making a monumental misjudgment with Herbalife, the controversial multi-level marketing enterprise.
According to close sources, Zuckerberg believed that by merging the virtual reality of the metaverse with the nutrient reality of Herbalife shakes, users could "live their best life both online and off." They said he'd been overheard chanting, "Meta and vitamins, the future of hybrid living!"
Employees at Meta headquarters were initially puzzled when shipments of green powders and "ultimate weight loss kits" began arriving in bulk. "I just thought Mark was really committed to his New Year's resolution," said one software engineer, now an unexpected level-three distributor.
Zuckerberg, in a press conference held at his newly renamed "HerbaHub Campus," dressed in a shirt that read, "Ask Me About My Business Opportunity," explained his vision. "In the metaverse, we defy the laws of physics. With Herbalife, I thought we could defy metabolism."
Wall Street experts are scratching their heads. "This is more perplexing than when he tried to teach the world about smoking meats," commented one bewildered analyst. Another remarked, "You'd think someone who's proficient in complex algorithms would spot a pyramid scheme."
The irony wasn’t lost on many when Zuckerberg began reaching out to old high school acquaintances, not to reconnect or reminisce about the past, but to introduce them to an "exciting business opportunity."
Yet, ever the optimist, Zuckerberg is said to be brainstorming his comeback. Rumor has it that he's considering a new venture: "MetaMeals – The First VR Nutritional Shake Experience."
As tech enthusiasts and investors brace themselves, one conclusion is clear: In the unpredictable realm of tech moguls, not all that shakes is gold.