Nov 1, 2023

Reddit Moderator Confesses: ‘I Can’t Ban Users Fast Enough to Outrun My Insecurities’

Reddit moderator Jason Brinkley has admitted that he simply cannot keep up with the relentless pace of banning users in a desperate attempt to outpace his crippling insecurities.

“It’s just so hard, you know?” said Brinkley, wiping away a tear as he reached for his seventh Red Bull of the morning. “I’ve banned over 3,000 users this week alone, but no matter how fast I click that ‘Ban User’ button, my feelings of inadequacy just keep coming back.”

Brinkley, who moderates 17 different subreddits, has taken it upon himself to rid the platform of anyone who dares to disagree with him, post something he finds mildly offensive, or simply rub him the wrong way. But despite his best efforts, he has come to the sobering realization that his quest for digital dominance may be futile.

“I thought that if I could just control what people say and think on the internet, I would finally feel good about myself,” Brinkley confessed, staring blankly at his computer screen. “But it turns out, banning users is like trying to empty the ocean with a teaspoon. There’s just too much free thought out there, and it’s overwhelming.”

Psychologists say that Brinkley’s behavior is not uncommon among internet moderators, many of whom turn to the power of the ban hammer in an attempt to compensate for their feelings of powerlessness.

“Being a moderator gives people a sense of control that they might not have in their real lives,” explained Dr. Angela Patterson, a psychologist who specializes in internet addiction. “But the truth is, no amount of banning users or deleting comments can fill the void of real human connection and self-worth.”

As for Brinkley, he says he’s considering stepping down from his role as moderator to focus on himself.

“I need to learn how to find validation from within, rather than relying on my power to silence others,” he said, pausing to ban another user before adding, “But man, it’s gonna be tough. Have you seen the stuff people post on here? It’s like they’re asking to be banned.”

In the meantime, Brinkley plans to continue his ban spree, all while knowing that he is fighting a losing battle against his insecurities.