Oct 11, 2023

Local Man 'Uncovers' United States as Most Ambitious Ponzi Scheme in New Tell-All Blog Post

ANYTOWN, USA – After months of what he calls "intense research" consisting mostly of late-night internet dives and watching conspiracy documentaries, local man Harold D. Nutter has declared the United States a complex Ponzi scheme, revealing his findings in a dramatic 2:00 AM blog post on his website, which usually features less ambitious content like "Top 10 Spots for UFO Watching."

Nutter's post, titled "The Great American Pyramid: Uncle Sam's Cash Cow!", posits that the founding fathers were not just political visionaries, but financial ones too, having the foresight to establish a country that operates on the principles of a classic Ponzi scheme.

“People think Bernie Madoff was a scandal,” Nutter wrote. “But that’s peanuts! The US has been playing the long game since 1776, baby!”

Nutter explains his theory: “It’s genius. You have the first thirteen colonies, right? They recruit other states to join in, promising prosperity and all that jazz. But the original colonies hold the most power, see? And the states keep getting added, but what’s happening is the new states support the older ones. And don’t get me started on Alaska and Hawaii – latecomers funding the continental executives!”

He furthers his argument with a series of increasingly bizarre, albeit amusing, points, claiming everything from the Louisiana Purchase to the annexation of Texas was a calculated move to keep fresh funds flowing into the country's coffers, supporting earlier "investors."

“It’s all about recruitment,” Nutter insists. “Why do you think we have so many states, hm? Fifty states mean fifty streams of income. It’s all about the Benjamins!”

The blog post has since gained traction among social media users, leading to virality. While most readers recognize the satirical nature of the article, it has sparked a series of memes, and "PonziSchemeUSA" quickly became a trending hashtag on Twitter.

When reached for comment about the public reaction to his post, Nutter said, “See, I knew I’d wake the sheeple up! Next week, I’m exposing how the Transcontinental Railroad was just an elaborate ruse to sell more train tickets. Stay tuned!”

Economists, historians, and anyone with a basic understanding of government have clarified that the United States is, in fact, not a Ponzi scheme, but they have commended Mr. Nutter on his imaginative approach to historical and financial analysis.