In an innovative approach to health and fitness, FlexFlex Revolution Gym has unveiled its latest strategy to ensure members show up: The “Get Up or Else” membership plan.
For just $29.99 a month, members can now enjoy the traditional amenities of a gym, plus the added benefit of a daily wake-up call at 5:00 AM sharp, paired with a carefully curated selection of mild threats to kickstart their motivation.
“We realized that the missing element in most fitness plans is fear,” says gym owner, Chad 'Muscles' Thompson. “People respond to urgency, so we decided to incorporate that into our membership.”
Members can choose from a range of wake-up call themes, including “Disappointed Parent,” “Stern Life Coach,” and the most popular, “Angry Drill Sergeant.”
“It’s changed my life,” says longtime member Sarah Jennings. “I used to hit snooze on my alarm five times before getting up. But now? One ring from ‘Angry Drill Sergeant’ and I’m out of bed faster than you can say ‘burpees.’”
The gym insists this method is all in good fun and is meant to motivate, not intimidate. “It’s like having a personal trainer in your phone,” Thompson explains. “Except this trainer is disappointed in you and isn’t afraid to show it.”
Critics have raised concerns about the ethics of such a program, calling it intrusive and potentially stressful. “This is a clear invasion of privacy, and what’s worse, it could genuinely scare people,” says local psychologist Dr. Emma Richardson.
But Thompson quickly dismisses these claims, emphasizing the program's voluntary nature. “No one has to sign up for the ‘Get Up or Else’ plan. But if they do, they better be ready for results. And by results, I mean being terrified of fitness.”
Despite the controversy, the gym reports that membership sales have skyrocketed since the introduction of the new plan. As for the future, Thompson hints at even more creative membership options.
“We’re thinking of adding a ‘Guilt Trip’ package, where your mom calls to remind you about all the money you’re wasting by not going to the gym,” Thompson says with a wink. “Because if there’s anything more motivating than fear, it’s mom guilt.”