While most would expect a dictator to rely on inherited dynasties or military coups, Kim has chosen a unique and surprising source for his leadership guidance: WikiHow.
Yes, you read that correctly. The man who rules North Korea with an iron fist has apparently been using the popular how-to website to learn the ropes of dictatorship. In a leaked document, it was revealed that Kim has been secretly consulting WikiHow articles to enhance his leadership skills.
Here are some of the fascinating ways in which Kim Jong Un has used WikiHow to hone his dictatorial prowess:
- "How to Cultivate a Cult of Personality": Kim Jong Un's cult of personality is legendary, and it's no secret that he's taken inspiration from articles like this one. He's even gone as far as having his hairdresser recreate the signature "Pyongyang Pompadour" featured in the illustrations.
- "Mastering the Art of Propaganda": Kim's regime is famous for its propaganda machine, and he's turned to WikiHow for tips on how to manipulate the masses. He reportedly keeps a checklist of propaganda techniques pinned to his office wall, including "Repetition," "Demonizing the Enemy," and "Using Bold Fonts."
- "Surviving an International Sanctions Regime": In a world where North Korea faces crippling sanctions, Kim has turned to WikiHow for advice on navigating these economic challenges. He's particularly fond of the section titled "Bartering 101: Trading Nuclear Secrets for Luxury Goods."
- "Handling Dissent Like a Pro": Kim has faced his fair share of dissent, and WikiHow has been there to help him address it effectively. He's allegedly taken notes on articles such as "Crushing Dissent with an Iron Fist" and "Building the Ultimate Surveillance State."
- "Building Impenetrable Underground Bunkers": With international tensions on the rise, Kim is well-aware of the importance of having a safe hideout. WikiHow's step-by-step guides have reportedly helped him construct a series of lavish, yet secure, underground bunkers.
While it may seem absurd that a dictator of Kim Jong Un's stature would turn to a publicly accessible website for guidance, it's a testament to the power of the internet and the democratization of knowledge. After all, if anyone can become a dictator with the help of WikiHow, what's stopping you from mastering a new skill or learning to bake a perfect soufflé?
As Kim Jong Un continues to rule North Korea, his reliance on WikiHow serves as a reminder that even the most powerful leaders can sometimes use a little online help. So the next time you visit WikiHow, just remember, you might be learning from the same source as the Supreme Leader himself.