Oct 5, 2023

Jeff Bezos Revealed as QAnon’s Chief Supply Chain Manager

In a twist straight out of an Amazon Original series, sources have "uncovered" that Jeff Bezos, founder of Amazon and billionaire space enthusiast, is actually QAnon's chief supply chain manager. The revelation came after a series of confounding tweets, basement blog posts, and an "insider" tip from someone named @TotallyRealNotFake00420.

Insiders claim that Bezos’s role mainly involves ensuring timely delivery of tin foil for hats, chalk for sidewalk conspiracy diagrams, and the freshest batch of red yarn to connect pictures on giant boards.

One anonymous source, who also believes their toaster is an FBI agent, said, "It all makes sense. How else can Amazon Prime deliver my QAnon starter kit in just two days? Bezos's logistic genius is behind it all!"

Others have "pieced together" more "evidence". They point out that Amazon Echo, or as they call it, "The All-Hearing Qube", isn’t just listening to song requests but is also tracking discussions about the "truth".

When asked about these revelations, Bezos chuckled, "Well, we do pride ourselves on delivering everything customers need, whether it's for their kitchen or their… more 'unique' hobbies."

However, some QAnon supporters are skeptical. "This is a diversion," claims @TruthHunter101, a prominent QAnon message board user. "While we're over here ordering conspiracy boards, they're plotting the next big thing: Amazon-branded spaceships. I bet that's how they'll do Prime intergalactic deliveries."

While most are dismissing the theory as another wild internet conspiracy, Prime members are left wondering: if they order a conspiracy theory today, will it still be eligible for two-day shipping?