Nov 17, 2023

Control Freak Dad Denies Son's Gas Money Offer, Claims It's Part of Master Financial Plan

In a stunning display of fiscal acumen, local father, Bob Henderson, 58, has reportedly refused his gainfully employed son, Mark Henderson, 24, the opportunity to pay for his own gas, citing what he calls "advanced budgetary strategies."

"It's all about the long game," Bob explained, while meticulously rearranging coupons he's been collecting since 1995. "If Mark starts paying for his own gas, he might get ideas. Next thing you know, he's paying for his own phone bill, then maybe rent, and suddenly, I'm not the financial maestro of the household."

Mark, who works as a software developer and has expressed a willingness, even eagerness, to contribute financially, is baffled by his father's logic. "I don't get it. I offered to pay for my own gas. It would literally save him money," he said, scratching his head while glancing at his father's latest spreadsheet titled 'Household Expenditures: The Art of War.'

Bob, who prides himself on his ability to save money, even if it means spending more in the long run, has a different perspective. "You see, it's about maintaining a balance of power. If he starts paying for things, what's next? He'll want to make decisions like what brand of toilet paper we buy. I can't have that. We're a one-ply household, always have been."

Friends and family have pointed out the flawed logic in Bob's refusal. "It's like he's stepping over dollars to pick up pennies," commented Linda Henderson, Bob's perpetually bemused wife. "But try telling him that. He's got a chart for everything."

In a related development, Mark has reportedly started secretly filling up his car's gas tank, while his father remains blissfully unaware, believing his financial strategy is going unchallenged. "I just fill up on my way home from work," Mark whispered. "He thinks I'm getting 60 miles to the gallon. I guess in a way, we're both happy."

At press time, Bob was seen lecturing a neighborhood kid on the importance of saving rubber bands, while Mark quietly transferred money to his savings account, preparing for the day he might actually get to use it.