Nov 14, 2023

Buffalo Bills Invent New Player to Lose Game in Final Seconds

Buffalo Bills quarterback Josh Allen (17) greets Denver Broncos quarterback Russell Wilson (3) after an NFL football game, Monday, Nov. 13, 2023, in Orchard Park, N.Y.

Jeffrey T. Barnes - freelancer, ASSOCIATED PRESS

In an unprecedented twist to the classic American football narrative, the Buffalo Bills, in a bold move defying both logic and the laws of the game, introduced a 12th man onto the field in the final, nail-biting seconds of their game against the Denver Broncos. This groundbreaking strategy, seemingly pulled straight from a child's backyard playbook, was the key factor in their staggering last-second defeat.

As the Broncos lined up for what seemed like a game sealing field goal attempt, the Bills, in a display of innovation unseen since the forward pass was invented, decided to one-up the traditional 11-man lineup. Sources close to the team suggest the 12th player, dubbed "Invisible Bob" by teammates, was a last-minute addition, believed to give the Bills a supernatural edge.

The crowd, initially baffled by the sudden appearance of this extra player, soon erupted into a mix of awe and confusion. "It was like watching a magician pull a rabbit out of a helmet," said one bewildered fan, "except the rabbit was a fully grown linebacker and the hat was the Bills' defensive lineup."

As the Broncos kicker missed the field goal, Bills fans erupted in celebration, only to have their cheers cut short by the harsh blare of the referee's whistle. The penalty for too many players on the field, a rule typically reserved for counting mishaps in elementary school games, was called. The Broncos were given a redo, much to the dismay of the Bills, who had already begun planning their victory parade.

Sean Mcdermott, in a post-game interview, defended the decision, stating, "We thought introducing a 12th player was a metaphor for our extra effort. Turns out it's just against the rules."

Meanwhile, the Broncos, gifted a second chance, effortlessly converted the field goal, sealing their victory. The kicker was overheard saying, "I've never been so grateful for basic arithmetic."

In the aftermath, the Bills' coaching staff has been bombarded with questions about their unorthodox tactic. One assistant coach, preferring to remain anonymous, whispered, "We might have misunderstood the term 'twelfth man'. We thought it was a literal suggestion."

As the Bills reconcile with their unconventional loss, the NFL has reportedly considered a new rule to clarify that teams should, indeed, play with only eleven players at a time. A spokesperson for the NFL added, "We thought that was clear, but apparently, we need to spell it out."

In a related development, Invisible Bob has become a folk hero among Bills fans, with many sporting jerseys with the number 12 and the name "Invisible" on the back. As one fan put it, "He might not be real, but our belief in him sure is."