Sep 30, 2023

Breaking News: Flat Earther’s Shocked to Discover Earth is Square – Corners Revealed!

Breaking News: In a mind-bending twist that could only happen in the wacky world of Flat Earther conspiracy theories, believers were left utterly flabbergasted as they uncovered what they believe to be the truth: the Earth isn't round, but rather, it's a colossal square. That's right, folks, the flat Earth has morphed into the square Earth, complete with corners to hide those nefarious global secrets.

This revelation came about when a group of Flat Earthers decided to sail to the supposed "edge" of our flat world to get a better look at the great abyss. Little did they know that they were in for the surprise of their lives as their journey took an unexpected turn - literally.

As they ventured farther from their starting point, they noticed something peculiar – instead of falling off the edge as they had anticipated, they found themselves sailing in a straight line. But not just any straight line – it was as if they were sailing along the sides of a colossal square!

This startling discovery left the Flat Earthers flummoxed. They gathered around their protractors, compasses, and quadrilateral diagrams, trying to make sense of this newfound shape. It was as if the Earth had pulled off the greatest magic trick in the universe, fooling them into thinking it was flat when, in fact, it was square all along.

Of course, they had to revise their theories on the grand global conspiracy. Suddenly, all those supposed secret organizations had been in cahoots to hide not a spherical Earth but a square one! The Illuminati, the Freemasons, and even Big Frisbee had been hard at work covering up the corners of our world.

Naturally, the square Earth theory presented its own unique challenges. For instance, how do you explain the Earth's curvature? Simple, they concluded: the Earth's corners are just very, very tall. Mountains are actually the Earth's edges, and Everest is the grandest corner of them all.

In conclusion, the Flat Earthers' discovery of a square Earth is a satirical testament to the endless creativity of conspiracy theories. It reminds us that in the realm of absurd beliefs, there's always room for one more corner to hide the truth. Who would have thought that the flat world had corners to begin with? Welcome to the wonderfully wacky world of square Earth, where angles replace curves, and conspiracies have never been so… square.