Local resident Gary Thompson expressed genuine confusion as to why other motorists on Elm Street couldn't telepathically discern his driving intentions last Tuesday afternoon. Thompson, known in the community for his strong belief in the power of mind over matter, was left agitated when surrounding drivers failed to intuitively understand his next move.
Local resident Gary Thompson expressed genuine confusion as to why other motorists on Elm Street couldn't telepathically discern his driving intentions last Tuesday afternoon. Thompson, known in the community for his strong belief in the power of mind over matter, was left agitated when surrounding drivers failed to intuitively understand his next move.
"I really thought by 2023, we would have evolved to a point where turn signals were obsolete," said Thompson, as he aggressively gestured towards the blinking light lever, referring to it as "that old thing." He continued, "Every morning, I meditate and channel my inner driving intentions for the day. It's baffling that nobody picks up on it."
Eyewitnesses report that Thompson, after expecting cars to magically make way for him, was seen yelling, "It's all in the mind, people! All in the mind!" when they didn't. One pedestrian, Janet MacDougal, noted, "I saw him close his eyes at a stop sign, presumably trying to send telepathic signals to the other drivers about his next move. It was... different."
Local authorities were called to the scene after Thompson honked relentlessly at a car in front of him that failed to predict his desire to merge without signaling. Officer Daniels recounted the incident, stating, "Mr. Thompson seemed genuinely perplexed. He kept repeating that he had 'sent the signal' and couldn't understand why the other driver didn't receive it."
Thompson's neighbor, Pauline Jenkins, shared her own experiences: "Every time we're at a neighborhood potluck, Gary tries to guess what dish I brought without looking. He's never gotten it right, but that doesn't stop him from believing."
As the community reacts with a mixture of amusement and concern, local schools have started advocating for the importance of turn signals in drivers' ed classes. A new campaign titled "Use Your Blinker, Not Your Brain Waves" has been launched, aiming to ensure that this kind of incident remains an isolated one.
In the meantime, Thompson is reportedly considering customizing his car with a large antenna, hoping it might "boost the transmission" of his mental signals.
