The government plans to build a 5G tower in conspiracy theorist Bob Smith's backyard, sparking controversy among local residents.

Whiskers, a local cat, has purportedly planned to murder its owner, Susan Thompson, causing Susan to hire an exorcist to clear possible malign influences; neighbours and authorities watch anxiously.

Despite past gaffes, President Joe Biden has surprisingly resolved the complex Middle East crisis. His achievement, including brokering peace deals, has left many, including former President Donald Trump, utterly bewildered yet impressed.

Local resident John Smith has popularized a novel approach to lawn care; mowing in a bathrobe for comfort and efficiency, turning his routine task into a neighborhood spectacle.

The Rockville Police Department is launching a "Take a Selfie with a Convict" program, aiming to foster understanding and empathy between the community and inmates. The initiative, despite criticism, hopes to spark productive social media discussions about justice and reform.

In a groundbreaking move to bridge the gap between military-industrial complex and consumer-friendly practices, Lockheed Martin has unveiled its latest initiative: the "War Miles" loyalty card.

The quiet town of Pleasantville, known primarily for its annual corn festival and competitive knitting circles, has now skyrocketed into infamy with its first recorded murder since, presumably, the dawn of time.

President Joe Biden greeted the Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, with a warm, seemingly endless embrace yesterday, followed by a hushed, "Where am I?"

29-year-old Jason Krupt declared an eternal vendetta this Sunday against his longtime friend, Mark Spoilberg, for inadvertently revealing the twist in the latest blockbuster, "Twistocalypse: The Unexpected Turn."

Local resident Gary Thompson expressed genuine confusion as to why other motorists on Elm Street couldn't telepathically discern his driving intentions last Tuesday afternoon. Thompson, known in the community for his strong belief in the power of mind over matter, was left agitated when surrounding drivers failed to intuitively understand his next move.